She wanted to become numb to all of it.
Not wanting to hear that she had the time or that it would happen one day.
Especially not from the one that she couldn’t have.
She wanted to drown her broken heart into her work,
And her other passions.
Feeling so consumed with her dreams and goals that everything falls to the side.
Nothing will be able to penetrate her again.
Not even for the ones she was intimate with.
She would block it all, tunnel vision,
To focus on nothing more than work.
It was made clear to her that this shit just won’t work
No more trying to prove that she was sorry and that she wanted to grow.
No more waiting around for him to get the picture and step up.
No more thinking she was claimed for.
No more in between or we need some space.
If there ever was a chance for romance, or
A happy ending, or a chance to reconcile,
She was no longer interested.
She was no longer wanting to be in a relationship or
Craving to have anyone in her bed.
She could care less about building a family or a touch from another.
She no longer cared to share space with another human being outside the ones she birthed.
She was beyond content with her toys she invested in
And her empire she was building alone.
Not wanting anyone to ride this journey with her
Like she had longed for in the past when her heart was naive and
Thought love was glitter and gold.
As if needing it to breathe.
She was past that; she was past the wanting and pleas.
Now she saw love as a bitter waste of time.
Money, God, and dreams,
Were the only things real.
The only things that she had her heart on fire for
Fuck a men
Fuck trying to make them a part of the pie.
She would thrive to become more, strive harder to become more independent
Not just financially but mentally, emotionally and physically.
She would want nothing more than to just be LEFT ALONE.
No love lost, she is just tired of waiting.
Tired of waiting for you to catch on.