Numb

She wanted to become numb to all of it.

Not wanting to hear that she had the time or that it would happen one day.

Especially not from the one that she couldn’t have.

She wanted to drown her broken heart into her work,

And her other passions.

Feeling so consumed with her dreams and goals that everything falls to the side.

Nothing will be able to penetrate her again.

Not even for the ones she was intimate with.

She would block it all, tunnel vision,

To focus on nothing more than work.

It was made clear to her that this shit just won’t work

No more trying to prove that she was sorry and that she wanted to grow.

No more waiting around for him to get the picture and step up.

No more thinking she was claimed for.

No more in between or we need some space.

If there ever was a chance for romance, or

A happy ending, or a chance to reconcile,

She was no longer interested.

She was no longer wanting to be in a relationship or

Craving to have anyone in her bed.

She could care less about building a family or a touch from another.

She no longer cared to share space with another human being outside the ones she birthed.

She was beyond content with her toys she invested in

And her empire she was building alone.

Not wanting anyone to ride this journey with her

Like she had longed for in the past when her heart was naive and

Thought love was glitter and gold.

As if needing it to breathe.

She was past that; she was past the wanting and pleas.

Now she saw love as a bitter waste of time.

It failed!

Money, God, and dreams,

Were the only things real.

The only things that she had her heart on fire for

Fuck a men

Fuck trying to make them a part of the pie.

She would thrive to become more, strive harder to become more independent

Not just financially but mentally, emotionally and physically.

She would want nothing more than to just be LEFT ALONE.

No love lost, she is just tired of waiting.

Tired of waiting for you to catch on.

Won’t Let Go

So caught up in the things that I was hoping you could provide for me
I let the outside turn my heart into flammable bits.
I had this attitude like I knew what was best for you treating you like I really didn’t want you
Could do better than you
I let everyone tell me what to do with you and look you gon’ out my sight
Now what am I to do
I want you back but I know there are a lot of things that need to be fixed
That you and I must push through
How am I to help you
I wished you gone and now it’s true
No longer wanting just to sleep with you
I need you over boo
Sometimes it feels so cold, your body gave me warmth
but they say I will get over that
Just look at that
I don’t want our future holds but like an old song, I won’t let go
So I’ll wait for you to get it together baby
So we finally build on us baby
We need each other…

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